Hey. Yeah I know it’s been ages and honestly I would like to get back into the habit of blogging, but I always forget. Actually I lie. There are times when I do feel like blogging about my day, but I can never bring myself to actually start. It just feels like such a commitment- I don’t wanna have to finish+post updates here out of obligation, I want to do it because I want to.
Anyway, so I thought I’d write a little about my day. Its 3 weeks before my exams (well actually 2 weeks, but the asshole-ripping exams are in 3 weeks) and my coursework for the semester has pretty much finished (last PBL on Monday), so I’ve started to get into the swing of exam studying. I only finished my work for PBL on Thursday, so it’s only really been 2 days since I engaged exam-mode, and I wanted to document my progress (let’s be honest, it’s more of a decline) over the next few weeks. Chances are that I’ll forget/be too busy/lack motivation to do any more posts after this, but I’ll be optimistic :)
Tried to sleep at 12ish last night (because I’d been up since 6am), but my fucked up sleep schedule meant that I didn’t sleep until 2. I ended up watching some youtube videos and looked through some lecture slides while I waited for myself to get sleepy.
Woke up when my alarm went off at 7, got up and tried to start a lecture but my body wouldn’t let me and I went back to sleep. Woke up again at 10, washed clothes, showered, cooked food for lunch and dinner today. Was meaning to restart that lecture at around 11.30 but I couldn’t physically bring myself to do it so I procrastinated instead.
At 12.30 the guilt/panic/self-hatred was getting strong but then A texted me about studying together and I told him I’d be at the library soon. Packed my shit, walked to Auchmuty. Got there at around 1, started studying. Idk what took A so long but he arrived at ~2.30 and we studied together until 5ish. Then he convinced me to go on a froyo break so we went to Marketown.
Talking to him throughout today actually made me kinda freaked out. A’s super studious and knows his shit, and he’s freaking already halfway through the semester. He kept on asking me questions (I could only answer a few), and I’d just stare at him blankly and be like “wut? We did that?”. He’s so nice though and makes me lol so hard so I could never be salty at him for being a total nerd.
Got back to the library around 6, and then studied till 11.30. I thought I might have to walk home in the dark, but then K offered us a lift thankgawd. Was not in the mood to be sexually assaulted and/or mugged tyvm.
Got home, changed, took off makeup. Was really tired and just wanted to wash my dishes, but there was so much shit in the drying racks so I had to put everything back first. Was way too tired to have a shower so here I am, sitting in bed, feeling gross and dirty but too tired to get out of bed.
I guess I’ll just set my alarm earlier tomorrow so I can shower/make food for the library. A invited me to a study sesh tomorrow in a PBL room but I think L also wanted to study together and she’s on the same level of stupidity as me so I think I’ll hang with her.
Oh and also I’m really fucking pissed off at my vagina. its been seven days, A WHOLE WEEK but my period is still going strong. And the flow has been sorta reducing the past few days so I expect it to be ending, but then the next morning I go to the toilet and its like a murder scene in my pants FFS. So done with being an ovulating female atm.
So yeah its T minus 16 days till exams, I’m currently on week 2/12 in studying and today I studied for 9 and a half hours. (weirdly enough I think I studied longer yesterday, maybe 11 hours?)
Not quite living at the library yet, but I can see it coming soon when exams are closer and I’m no where close to finishing studying.
gonna try to get some sleep now
Listening to: Simple Math by Manchester Orchestra